”Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”Maria: “Jor huzban did.”Wife, increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”Maria: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”Wife: really boiling now and through gritted teeth “And did my husband say that as well?”Maria: “No Señora...”The gardener did.”Wife: “So then, how much did you have in mind?”Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s arse anymore ... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal ... A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing except eat, yet it lives for 150 years.And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so!Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and. .. I mean my Daddy back; into my pants that is!I didn't really want to leave, but at that moment in time, I could have told him that I hated him and that he could have ran out into a busy freeway! I was so upset with him. I wanted to tell him all that I had to say, but the relationship that we've had all of my life wouldn't warrant that behavior. Kevin was not only my dad, he was my best friend!The entire next week, I didn't speak to Dad. I went to school and came home. I ate out every day of the week, for every meal, and didn't see him but in passing. I stayed in my room and never was happier about the fact that he had his own bathroom off of the master bedroom! So I didn't even have to share a bathroom with him!I spent my nights at my friend Leanne's house getting drunk and high as hell, and then walking home completely plastered and falling asleep, either on the couch or I would crawl to my bed and fall asleep fully clothed on top of the covers.One morning Dad found me in the.
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